i will rise

as chris tomlin's song rings true in many hearts, it's one that fights to escape from mine. rediscovering his amazing grace isn't as dignified as i remembered it... it's messy but at least it's real. he is my crutch, my one and only real thing i can lean on. especially now and a rising hope - for forever.

chris tomlin's "i will rise"
there's a peace i've come to know
though my heart and flesh may fail
there's an anchor for my soul
i can say, it is well

jesus has overcome
and the grave is overwhelmed
the victory is won
he is risen from the dead

and i will rise
when he calls my name
no more sorrow, no more pain
i will rise, on eagle's wings
before my god
fall on my knees,
and rise...
i will rise

there's a day that's drawing near
when this darkness breaks to light
and the shadows disappear
and my faith shall be my eyes

and i hear the voice of many angels sing
worthy is the lamb!
and i hear the cry of every longing heart
worthy is the lamb!

quest for intimacy

tippy toes, ready to launch
i asked the question that invited the challenge
to go on a quest for intimacy - with God and the family around me

there's no way but forward
yet reasoning grabs my ankles, or is it fear disguised?

i stay and consider
really count the cost

tippy toes, here i go!

victory realised

scattered thoughts screaming
running emotions rattling
against the bars of a prison cell

they're trapped inside
unable to break free
cos they're not worthy
created from the darkest of pits

they seek only to satisfy themselves
they feed till their own bellies burst
and destroy everything, everyone around
to only return to the darkest of pits

starve i say! starve and die!
it is no longer i that live
it is Christ Himself who thrives
and stands free

on the other side of this cell
with me
staring straight into the enemy's eyes
we win.

another day is here

another day - by Sons of Day

another day is starting
the peace is broken now
i get up on my feet again
forgetting yesterday

the sun is climbing higher
into the open sky
the people moving quickly
to where they need to be

another day is starting
i don’t know where to go from here
i’m searching for You now
i hope to find You here

another day is starting
i’m trying hard to clear my head
i’m thinking of You now
and all the things You’ve said

and as i’m walking through the streets
i see a lonely face to greet
a smile will always cheer me up
from all the people that I meet

another day I’m looking
i’m searching for direction
i’m lost without You here
i don’t know where I am

another day is starting
i don’t know where to go from here
i’m searching for You now
i hope to find You here

another day is starting
i’m trying hard to clear my head
i’m thinking of You now
and all the things You’ve said

i am searching everywhere
i’ve been searching everyday
just to find that You are here
and You’re with me now

love of my life

you are the love of my life
the smile on a winter's morn

you are the rock of my life
the calm after the storm

you are the voice in my heart
the fragrance of spring in bloom

you are the one next to me
the theatre with curtains down

you are the tickle in my throat
the giggles and laughter all boisterous and loud

you are my prince
my one and only
the one i cannot live without

you are my all, my life

treasury masqueraded

i see paint peeling off
these walls of masquerade
i see only brick and mortar
nothing else until...

a thundering pound crashed
against these walls, my walls
a crack opened into another room
of treasures, inviting me

my hand reaches out, yet my eyes
still look back
turn my eyes, my treasure hunter
to step in

your countenance

Light Of Your Face - Misty Edwards

O Lord bless me and keep me cause Your face to shine on me
Lord be gracious lift the light of Your countenance give me peace

I live only to see your face so shine on me

Let the light of Your face shine down on my heart and let me feel it

Song lyrics | 

true reality

starry eyes
aflight above the clouds
imagination ebbs and flows
fantasy crossed into reality

of the ground beckoning
to call in - the fantasy that's always been reality

can i truly live like this?
an existence formed with the master's breath
still unseen to creation
still unheard of in creation

true reality awaits

say what you need to

take all of your wasted honor
every little past frustration
take all of your so called problems
better put them in quotations

say what you need to say

walking like a one man army
fighting with the shadows in your head
living up the same old moment
knowing you'd be better off instead

if you could only...say what you need to say

have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over
you better know that in the end
it's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again

even if your hands are shaking
and your faith is broken
even as the eyes are closing
do it with a heart wide open

say what you need to say


- j.mayer

divinity displayed

i caught a glimpse of the divine displayed in two dear friends... the candidness of boisterous laughter and chatter brought the chaos around us to a halt. oh what treasure is this that i've missed time and time again?

thank you, God, i didn't miss this one and let me not rush past another!

midnight encounters

eyes wide open
i lay awake

of shadows in the dark
haunting the present

of moaning in the winds
screaming the hidden

then you walked in
candle in one hand
other found its home in mine

in a gentle whisper
shadows were swallowed
moaning was muffled...silenced

i lay awake
eyes wide open
of such power and poise

only you

poetry and song
wishing i were there

words and music
packaged thoughts all bare

emptiness and silence
drowning in oceans

painted beauty revealed
a masterpiece in motion

so this is what it means
to be with you...and only you

me

it's exhausting trying to be different
and
a bore blending into the crowd

all i want is to be just me
you let me be me

if only for the brief moments we share
enough to get me through the day

you let me be me
and showed me how

awakening a deeper desire
for these exchanges to linger
longer than before

smiley face

i woke up with a smiley face etched on my heart...not sure how else to explain it!

simply still

it's amazing...

the love that fights,
believes,
pushes through,
transforms and most of all - stays simply still

am in a good place
no...right and best place where His strength surrounds my soul

strangely, simply, still.

silence

Ajarku berdiam
Dekat di hatiMu
Di saat kuberpaling
temukan cintaMu

Di sana Kau menanti
'tuk bawaku lagi
bersekutu dalam
damai yang sejati


Kudamba hadirMu

Inilah rinduku

Hidupku hanyalah untukMu
Segenap hatiku kagum kan kebaikanMu
Dan nafasku menceritakan kasihMu
Ajarku berdiam dekat di hatiMu

moving

it's time to move homes again...maybe this time we'll get a house!
exciting...yet the thought of packing everything up and then unpacking...eeeekkkk!!

believing that God will provide the right home in the right place at the right time

remember the rain

goal of salvation

i love love love my church, my pastors, my friends!
the beautiful woman event last 2 days was spectacular - spiritually 'obese' and overflowing!
greatest thing I've learnt - goal of our salvation is intimacy with God. with this truth and revelation there is no space for busyness at all! but need i say it again? freedom to live!! YES!

lovin' it!

there's freedom to dance! freedom to run!
freedom to shout at the top of the hill!
freedom to BE!

why didn't i see it before? maybe i did, but couldn't remember.
all's done, all's been done, finished.
now - our part is to be His people and Him our God.

then all the 'what to do?', 'is this the right way?' falls into place
relaxed, enjoying life! woo-hoo!! lovin' it!